So the lower dose of Carbo didn't work.   Boo.  The rest of the week is for recouperation and then fingers crossed another chemo.  It works, they are low but just enough, and we get our 11th treatment.  I am now down to one hand left of treatments!!

May 8-Mothers day.  Brother in law and niece are in town so the family meets for breakfast and a visit.   Very nice to see them and visit with everyone.  Fatigued but happy.  And received some very beautiful flower to boot :)

May 13-Participated as a survivor in my first Relay for Life.  Not in the plan of life, but then most things aren't.  The high school had a team for myself and a co-worker battling Leukemia.  If you look you will see little legs behind mine.  This young man is a survivor.  I remember many, many years ago the high school held a Bone Marrow drive for him, little guy was so sick, yet there he was many years later asking to take his lap, a proud survior.  Very nice!

 



May 14-a very proud day indeed.  My youngest graduates from college and joins her sister as a UW-Whitewater Alum.  I am now the proud parent of two college grads, something I never did.  It was so cold it snowed a little, but even that didn't dampen the day.


That evening she and her dad do exactly what her sister did the day of graduation, off to Las Vegas!  How fun, and Lola and I get a few days to ourselves 👍

More resting, and we are now back to chemo after the two get back.  A few days of feeling good and packing in two visits with co-workers, and I'm confident things are going well and I will be down to 4 treatments.

May 19-Not so fast.......low numbers again.  What????  But I feel great.  How can this be?!  3 hours later and two blood draws to verify the numbers....."no chemo for you".  Ugh, again, delay number three.  You think I'd be getting use to it by now.  New twist, this time the doctor orders blood, not one but TWO bags.  Okay, this is a little scary, never done this before.  Sign the consent, blood ordered and I have a date with the day hospital on Friday morning.

May 20-Getting blood is not the same as Vampire Diaries.  They

finish a bag in minutes, me 2 hours per bag.  They start by watching you for 15 minutes to make sure you don't show any signs of  allergic reaction.  Once that's cleared its just time, and lots of it.  Did I feel it, nope.  Did it make a difference?  I guess so.  We will really see when it's time for chemo again on Thursday.  And it's also a doctor visit.  Hopefully things are great.

In the meantime, the weekend is going to be beautiful and I'm not going to be wiped out from chemo!  Maybe I can get the old man to pull out the motorcycle on Sunday.  Hmmmm.........

People are having a hard time understanding what Triple Negative means.  Hopefully this chart I found on Pinterest (my current obsession, well...that and EBay....) helps out. 

50+, Caucasian, BRCA2+, all the opposites, how did I get so lucky.........

May, finally!!

May 4th-A nice dinner with my girls from the Clerical union starts the month.  And a beautiful floppy hat and scarf, should it ever warm up enough to use it ;)  Its nice to get out and be with people again.  It's been two weeks since a treatment so I actually feel normal(ish).

May 5th-It's been awhile since I was able to see the doctor.  Between the satellite place for chemo (New Berlin, way closer and more convenient) and vacations for the team we are meeting again after awhile.  He sees that two sessions have had to be postponed because of low counts.  He lowers the dosage of the Carboplation hopes this will help some.  And surprise!  I get a double on the 5th.  Yikes, not expected, but okay.  Lets get this done!

May 7- My family participated in the Strides against Breast Cancer walk downtown.  Unfortunately I could not walk, maybe next year.  Its great to see my kids out doing positive things and getting support for the cause.  It was nice to see all the survivors there as well.  Thanks to all who showed!

If only the smaller dosage would have worked.  By Sunday I'm couch-bound again.  I can feel that the counts are low again.  Thursday should be interesting.

We are nearly caught up now.  It's really May, and I'm really talking about May.  Whew.

Before moving on I thought I'd answer a few questions that have been asked.

My counts being low.  There are two counts that are looked at to determine if I can handle more chemo, Neutrophil Absolute and White Blood Cell.  The average for the Neutrophil is between 1.80 and 7.70, White cell count 4.0 and 10.0.  If the NA is anything below 1.0, no chemo.  I started this war at 3.57 in NA my high and .8 my low, my last count was 1.17, just barely good for chemo.  My WCC started at 5.6 with a high of 9.4 and a low of 1.4, last count was 2.1.  When these counts are low, hand washing, minimal contact and food washing or complete cooking is necessary.  In the beginning Neulasta was given to prevent the lows, but with weekly chemo this is no longer possible.  Hemoglobin is also looked at, which should range between 11.2 and 15.1.  This determines anemia.  I'm currently at 8.0, which explains as well the fatigue.  I can feel when they are low, which makes me wonder about Thursday.  Low to begin, and more chemo on top does not a good combo make.

Hair.  Yes it's all gone.  It started with the nose, which became a sloppy, runny mess, and has now moved to dry, dry, dry.  Starts out dry every morning and ends up running by the evening.  And you thought nose hairs were good for nothing.   Everything else followed, my eyelashes being last.  My skin feels soft, plus, but it's very dry.  My eyes were dry to begin with, now they have no protection from anything, so they are doubly runny.  Anything else?

Yep, go with it.

Food-my appetite has been terrible, hence my 45ish pound weight loss.  Luckily I have some to spare....when we started I could eat nothing.  Everything looked and tasted terrible.  My favorite foods were pasty, bland, too spicy, way too salty or something in between.  Texture was not something I was expecting to be a problem but it was.  As we moved further into chemo I was able to eat again, but again picky on foods.  My go to for many weeks?  Chinese, with lots of white rice.  Thank you Kings Wok.  As we move to the end of chemo, a more balanced, nutritious diet is welcome especially fresh fruits and vegetables.  Looking forward to the farmers markets.  The terrible taste in my mouth is not gone, even water tastes bad, but it will be soon.  Silver lining, I never got physically sick.  I know many that are so I consider this a big plus.

 =

Attitude-Most days I can work through things.  Some days not.  Most people that have seen me out and about have seen my good days full of steroids or several days away from my last chemo.  My bad days I stay home.  I get very, very frustrated at not being able to do things.  I've been very self sufficient my whole life so it's tough when you can't even get off the couch some days to do laundry.  I have suffered from depression since the Summer last year, which is controlled with therapy and medication.  It was decided to keep this going when I found out about my cancer.  It has been good for me and I would recommend it for anyone in the same position.  Talking things out with a person not close to me and my life in any way is helping.

With the impending Summer, look forward to warm days and fun times.  Hybernation is about over.  If it ever stops raining..........

As I sit here on this beautiful but blustery May morning, I think about how blessed I am.  My family is participating in the Strides against Cancer walk on the lakefront this morning.  I can't walk because of my treatment Thursday wiping me out, but they are.  And raised a nice sum of money as well.  Thank you to those that donated.

Now time to catch up.

It's April and the weather is finally breaking.  My sister has come up from Georgia to visit for a long weekend and brought beautiful weather with her.  The girls come in to visit as well, and daughter #1's boyfriend as well.  It's a full house, Lola is happy, happy.  I'm feeling pretty good so we hit up a fundraiser for a young lady the needs a service dog.  I won a small coffee basket, yeah!  I hope they raise what they needed.  She's very young as has many issues this dog can help her with.  Link if interested.

My hair has started to show a slight fuzzy growth, but, my eyebrows and eyelashes have said Sayonara.  Nice, go figure.  And I suck at putting on makeup to fake it.  Oh well.  They will be back someday.

The rest of the month is relatively quiet.   More of the same.  More chemo, more fatigue.  The weather turns crappy again and round and round we go.  Bob heads back to Florida for a quickly trip courteousy of Frontier and their ridiculously low airfare, someday I will be taking advantage of that.  A visit with our Florida friends at Leesburg bikefest then back home.

Warm and Sunny Florida :)

By the end of the month my counts are low again and I have to skip another treatment.  Boo.  It doesn't keep me from visiting FHS for the Admin Assistants day on Friday.  Sadly, the Admin Assistants were so busy I didn't get to see them much, but it was nice to see all the counselors, EAs, and a few teachers that stopped in.

April is over, on to May and hopefully some warmer, sunnier weather!  10 of 16 treatments are done.  There is light, albeit small, at the end of the tunnel.  👍