May, finally!!

May 4th-A nice dinner with my girls from the Clerical union starts the month.  And a beautiful floppy hat and scarf, should it ever warm up enough to use it ;)  Its nice to get out and be with people again.  It's been two weeks since a treatment so I actually feel normal(ish).

May 5th-It's been awhile since I was able to see the doctor.  Between the satellite place for chemo (New Berlin, way closer and more convenient) and vacations for the team we are meeting again after awhile.  He sees that two sessions have had to be postponed because of low counts.  He lowers the dosage of the Carboplation hopes this will help some.  And surprise!  I get a double on the 5th.  Yikes, not expected, but okay.  Lets get this done!

May 7- My family participated in the Strides against Breast Cancer walk downtown.  Unfortunately I could not walk, maybe next year.  Its great to see my kids out doing positive things and getting support for the cause.  It was nice to see all the survivors there as well.  Thanks to all who showed!

If only the smaller dosage would have worked.  By Sunday I'm couch-bound again.  I can feel that the counts are low again.  Thursday should be interesting.

We are nearly caught up now.  It's really May, and I'm really talking about May.  Whew.

Before moving on I thought I'd answer a few questions that have been asked.

My counts being low.  There are two counts that are looked at to determine if I can handle more chemo, Neutrophil Absolute and White Blood Cell.  The average for the Neutrophil is between 1.80 and 7.70, White cell count 4.0 and 10.0.  If the NA is anything below 1.0, no chemo.  I started this war at 3.57 in NA my high and .8 my low, my last count was 1.17, just barely good for chemo.  My WCC started at 5.6 with a high of 9.4 and a low of 1.4, last count was 2.1.  When these counts are low, hand washing, minimal contact and food washing or complete cooking is necessary.  In the beginning Neulasta was given to prevent the lows, but with weekly chemo this is no longer possible.  Hemoglobin is also looked at, which should range between 11.2 and 15.1.  This determines anemia.  I'm currently at 8.0, which explains as well the fatigue.  I can feel when they are low, which makes me wonder about Thursday.  Low to begin, and more chemo on top does not a good combo make.

Hair.  Yes it's all gone.  It started with the nose, which became a sloppy, runny mess, and has now moved to dry, dry, dry.  Starts out dry every morning and ends up running by the evening.  And you thought nose hairs were good for nothing.   Everything else followed, my eyelashes being last.  My skin feels soft, plus, but it's very dry.  My eyes were dry to begin with, now they have no protection from anything, so they are doubly runny.  Anything else?

Yep, go with it.

Food-my appetite has been terrible, hence my 45ish pound weight loss.  Luckily I have some to spare....when we started I could eat nothing.  Everything looked and tasted terrible.  My favorite foods were pasty, bland, too spicy, way too salty or something in between.  Texture was not something I was expecting to be a problem but it was.  As we moved further into chemo I was able to eat again, but again picky on foods.  My go to for many weeks?  Chinese, with lots of white rice.  Thank you Kings Wok.  As we move to the end of chemo, a more balanced, nutritious diet is welcome especially fresh fruits and vegetables.  Looking forward to the farmers markets.  The terrible taste in my mouth is not gone, even water tastes bad, but it will be soon.  Silver lining, I never got physically sick.  I know many that are so I consider this a big plus.

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Attitude-Most days I can work through things.  Some days not.  Most people that have seen me out and about have seen my good days full of steroids or several days away from my last chemo.  My bad days I stay home.  I get very, very frustrated at not being able to do things.  I've been very self sufficient my whole life so it's tough when you can't even get off the couch some days to do laundry.  I have suffered from depression since the Summer last year, which is controlled with therapy and medication.  It was decided to keep this going when I found out about my cancer.  It has been good for me and I would recommend it for anyone in the same position.  Talking things out with a person not close to me and my life in any way is helping.

With the impending Summer, look forward to warm days and fun times.  Hybernation is about over.  If it ever stops raining..........